How Can I Forget?

How can I forget?

Memories I wish I could erase,
with the dull end
of a vividly pointed pencil
writing my life scroll.

The words chiseled,
raised on the long page,
with microscopic mountains
of soft, immovable lead,
tirelessly reminding me of love.

Lost.

In the moonlight,
soft shades of words
dancing off the page;
only to re-form – through a glance –
in my unforgiving mind:

Subtle words,
sharp edges,
cutting my consciousness
like a deep paper cut
that will not heal.

My failures.

How can I forgive?
Myself.
When the words –
the memories –
will not fade?

I reread the scroll –
an incomprehensible babble
of my life –
the text screaming violently.

Twisted emotion disquiets my soul.
I run away.
But I merely end up closer.

Trapped in my own mental prism:
Choices, decisions,
passing through my mind.
Replayed.
Perpetually analyzed:
Possibilities.
What-ifs.
These entertain my discontent.

Every potential outcome, teases;
I can almost taste the sweet flavor
of a life that could’ve – should’ve –
been.

Love.
Coursing through my sludgy veins.
Animating my every cell.
Trillions of biological building blocks,
forming an alternate reality –
two voices blending as one.

A dream that cannot be.