Imagine two different teenage girls, completely opposite in nearly every way. Let’s call them Mary and Jane. I’ve tried to intentionally mix up the stereotypes:
Mary is Black, brilliant, completely uncoordinated, comes from a rich family, uglier than sin, and is largely an introvert.
Jane is white, dumb as a stump, athletic, comes from a poor family, is beautiful with a perfect body, and very social.
Statistically, which teenage girl has a better chance at life to succeed?
Mary will succeed with far greater probability than Jane. It has nothing to do with the color of her skin, but everything to do with money affording opportunity, coupled with her intellect.
Jane will likely be a homecoming queen, high school star athlete in women’s sports, and married with children before 21, never having attended higher education.
Ok, now press pause and clean the table. The above statement was a trap question.
The problem with my question is that, first, there is an assumed meaning of the definition of success. It tells us a lot about our society.
Fact is, if Jane is married at age 18 and becomes the mother of 3 children in her life, and she is the best mother a child could grow up knowing, that is success. Perhaps the greatest kind of success.
People who diminish the role of motherhood in society are just angry bitches and feminists in life – probably because they were so ugly nobody asked them to the prom dance; or their hatred for anything traditional stems from a far deeper and darker psychological childhood trauma that was never dealt with properly. I will be frank and offensive without apology – there is something clearly wrong and fucked up with these kinds people.
Being a parent – a good loving one – is the only job that matters in this world. It is the only criteria that matters. If you succeed at everything else in life, but fail in this endeavor, then you’re a fucking loser. Full stop.
Every other job is meaningless and self-serving; meant to enhance our own ego and pound our chest to show to the world how successful and better we are than others. It’s insane behavior.
Most highly successful people fall into this camp – rich businessmen, famous people, politicians, etc. They are complete failures and losers in life, having sacrificed everything for their riches and success. Society may awe at their accomplishments, but they failed in the only meaningful legacy that will outlast them. And their accomplishments are meaningless and useless in the grand scheme of everything, outside of the narrow irrational temporary reality we fabricate in our minds, just like some crazy asylum nutcase.
If you love work or career more than your children, then you shouldn’t breed. If you love yourself more than your children, then you shouldn’t be a parent.
I always loved kids. But in my own life I was so terrified I would be a bad father that I constantly delayed and postponed, until it became impossible. I think in retrospect, I would have been a very loving and good father. Because in my life, whenever fear of failure drove me, I never failed at anything. But I guess we’ll never know.
Focus on your family. It’s the single most important thing any human being can ever do.